I LOVE YOU FOREVER

IS THIS WHAT I DESERVE?
Is this what i get for giving everything?
What do you think you are doing?
You try to leave everything behind?
Mostly are you trying to leave ME behind alone?
WHATS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?

I AM SICK AND TIRED
For 4 days i have been running here and there and here i am in the middle of the night
For 4 DAYS i have been rushing to SGH NUH and the bloody police station
4 days straight in a row
And i've not been getting any bloody sleep and i'm going insane

Do you even know what i'm going thru?
Do you even know what i've been doing all this time?
Quit my job
I have to go down to stations
Go down to hospital
And all this things

Do you know that i had to cab down to the police station after you left?
Do you know how fucking worried i was?
Do you know what the fuck happen to me?

Did you even know the following day in the middle of the night at around 12.30 or so
I took cab and rush down to the NUH and searching for you high and low
And when i found you
You were sleeping and all i get is fucked by your mother when she saw me
And cab back home
Where i can't sleep or do any shit
That i was awake the whole night
And in the morning i fell asleep for 1 hour or so and some fucker
Called me and fucked me on the bloody phone that i wake up and when i call that fucker again he never picked up
And i had to cab to SGH for checkup and i ran out cause i did not want to get admitted
And when i wanted to go find you
Teachers started to call me
And i had to take cab to NUH and go there to see them
And talk to them
And you told me to not come
YOU?
TOLD ME NOT TO COME?
WHAT THE FUCK?
IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?
ALL THOSE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
I WAS SICK BUT I STILL RUSH HERE AND THERE
WITH MY HEAD FEEL LIKE EXPLODING
AND MY WORLD JUST TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
and in the end all you can say is don't come
seriously i'm speechless
And the fucking teachers are making a big fuck up scene about this
What the fuck?
They want this whole world to know this is it?
Fuck them la

You told me you love me
And if you can go to the extend of doing things for me
Then why not fuck care the world and just ask me to come up?
Why not tell all the people around you that you want to be with me?
Why not tell this world that YOU ARE MINE
Why?
Cause you are scared?
Cause you are afraid of them?
I told you before that i'm not fucking afraid of anything
And i will face anyone that comes in our way
But when you told me stuffs
I seriously am fucking speechless

Do you remember my promises?
Do you remember me?
Do you remember the love?
My eyes are dried but even then water keep rolling down
I can't stop them

I told you this before and i'm telling you this again
I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU
I NEED YOU
I MISS YOU
I LOVE YOU
And i will say this to anyone that questions me

I put down my pride just for this once
And all i get was fucked around by people
Even those whom i don't know
I was Humble and i'm keeping my promises
But if i have the exceptions to break one promise
Just one and
I swear i'm going to give the fuck out of me
That they will never ever in their life forget it

But whatever shit i've been thru
Its all done
Can't change it
So now i'm telling you
I'm still not afraid to face anyone
And i still fight for this

If you still love me,
If you still love this Vin
You will find me
Or
You will call me
Or
Somehow Msg me
Cause there are still things that i have to say to you
And i am not going to let you go
This is not the end

How i wish my life was like a fairytale
Fuck it
I'm not going to rest till what i want to happen

Hopefully you still remember me, Vin,
Or atleast remember StarBoy, Star,
And you still remember everything

I still love you alot,
And i don't want to let go of you,
And if you still love me,
You will find call or msg me,

Other than that
I will not bother you anymore
And you will never have to care about me

I'm sorry for all that i have done

I MISS YOU
And
I LOVE YOU ALOT BABY